| Saturday, December 5th, 2009 |
| 11:16 am |
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| Friday, November 20th, 2009 |
| 1:35 am |
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| Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 |
| 2:26 am |
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| Thursday, November 12th, 2009 |
| 1:57 am |
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| Tuesday, October 13th, 2009 |
| 12:35 am |
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| Thursday, September 17th, 2009 |
| 1:41 am |
advance warning to cohesivness of post.
I'm not sure whatever it is I want to discuss but I've got painfully powerful songs going and a buzz to go along with them which is a deadly combination. Ruts are an awful thing, you dig your own hole or manage to fall into a deep deep hole and your left to figure your way out. People may stop by to offer a hand up but its only a step or two in a staircase of steps. Its really a mindfuck to live in this recession and attempt to get any job of almost any kind, the timing is what makes it so painful though. The want of making your way out the that hole is so supreme its at the top of your list of things to do, but circumstances are a bitch of there own. Circumstances and mindfucks dig that hole deeper and deeper. When your biggest priority is slavery to income, and you cant even manage to gain the first step to that it feels so disheartening. The staircase takes time to climb, I know this, but its the readiness and the WANT to be able to simply start it that makes it so impending. I truly am my own worst enemy too many times. I have plans, I yearn to accomplish, and I have the GREATEST expectations and illusions of grandeur for myself, but it seems circumstances and excuses hold me back. It's bad enough I make it so difficult on myself to feel accomplishment for things I do, but to have circumstances outside my control make it all the more difficult breaks me down. I can only barely handle my own introverted mind barraging myself with expectations to fulfill but to have limits set on my ability to accomplish them make it seem so drastic and in slow motion. Opportunity is such a compelling engine in life and has such importance behind it, because without it you become stuck in your ruts and barred from your goals. It's why the whole man made economic meltdown should never have been allowed to transpire. People lose focus, they become disheartened and it is such a necessity to know you can improve your standings for your own sake and not be confined to dismal circumstances forced on you by greed and corruption. The world is too one-sided towards the rich its become too cutthroat and sidetracked all humanity's greatness. I want badly to fulfill just that, but it seems everyone wants that to start with, but somewhere along the way we get tainted and give into the system, and greed overcomes morality. Well fuck that, I'm mad and I'm impatient for us to move the along with systems and greed that hold us back from accomplishments and for lack of a better understanding enlightenment. I've always had the most absolute expectations for myself, and PAINFULLY slowly I manage to meet most of them, but the list goes on whether I realize it or not. I feel like I'm in a race with high expectations I should not expect myself to be able to succeed at, but when you can see so much wrong with ALL around you how can you hold yourself above it when you are unable to change that which is so disheartening. I have such impatience for the next phase in life that I have been unable to achieve it. I am my own worst enemy at times, and I'm drunk at that. I shouldn't even post this. |
| Thursday, September 10th, 2009 |
| 1:05 am |
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| Wednesday, September 9th, 2009 |
| 9:49 am |
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| Saturday, July 25th, 2009 |
| 6:49 pm |
The greatest sendoff a guy could ask for
Today being my last working day at Pick of the Litter was difficult. I've never had quite so many words of honest praise for my work and efforts except in that tiny little store. Every volunteer has said to me that they have never once had a Pick Driver who they bothered to be close with and never one who made such an impression. I can't stand to think that I might work a job that wont be as meaningful or fulfilling as this one. I know my expectations for myself are higher than those little old ladies, but its really something else to hear it from one such group. |
| Friday, June 5th, 2009 |
| 10:06 pm |
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| Friday, April 24th, 2009 |
| 12:00 pm |
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| Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009 |
| 9:48 pm |
Watched Seven Pounds today and I'm honestly amazed. It does what it can to hit you hard but it does it well. And to think he started with being the Prince of Bel Air. |
| Thursday, March 5th, 2009 |
| 2:55 pm |
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| Friday, February 13th, 2009 |
| 1:28 am |
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| Tuesday, January 20th, 2009 |
| 1:21 am |
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| Sunday, January 11th, 2009 |
| 9:52 am |
Ive recently started taking a new supplement which has helped me dream the last 5 of 6 nights and remember the dream itself, something I don't get too often. Last nights dream was the weirdest. It was very Day The Earth Stood Still ish in that an E.T. source was due to suck out all the air on earth in a matter of days. I remember pamphlets dropping from a U.S. jet then telling citizens to get to an underground prison where they would pump it full of helium or some sort of breathable gas. Of course it had to end there with out any conclusion, but I'm happy to be remembering this at all. Its out of the norm for me to dream at all. |
| Wednesday, December 24th, 2008 |
| 10:19 am |
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| Monday, December 15th, 2008 |
| 4:39 pm |
That part in which was carefree and jolly
and nothing was worth the worry. Where did it go? How do you misplace something which belongs to you and not know where to find it. Is it like losing your keys only to find them when you don't need them or does it lapse away. Mind games are a bitch. Current Music: Shell of a Man-Julianna Theory |
| Tuesday, November 4th, 2008 |
| 10:35 am |
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| Friday, October 31st, 2008 |
| 1:07 am |
Nov. 4th
It's not over. Never forget you still need to vote. Never forget you need to get other people to vote. Never forget that while you don't have to do anything, THAT is what got us to this point now. Never forget it is your country and you can make unbiased and wise decisions to better this society for all. Far too many opt to sit it out, and that is a crime to themselves and a shame for the majority. Please don't ever not vote, it's too important. This time around, or the next, or the time after that. This time's important, enormously, and this election sets the tone for people to wipe the slate clean and really participate. It is work for some and a hobby for others, but it is of such importance everyone needs to have their two cents put in the pile. This is too important. Convince people of just that. |
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